About Cops

Some specific people have wondered about my love/hate relationship with cops so I thought I would pontificate... I have been arrested twice for crimes I didn't commit. That sort of leaves me wondering; if it could happen to me, how often does it happen? How fair and righteous is "the system". After all, I'm a white guy, imagine what the minorities must put up with.

Story number one.

I will try to keep this brief and I want to emphasize the fact that I am being honest at all times in this blog. I have nothing to gain or lose here, all of this is history.
When I was a Young student at Auburn University a guy looked out of his apartment window and saw someone trying to steal a radio out of his car. I fit the description and I was arrested, the guy even said "Yea, that's him". Well, it wasn't me. I had nothing to do with it and didn't know anything about it.
The young detective took my statement and wrote it down, then he wanted me to sign it. Nothing of importance that I had said was in that statement. Everything I had said was misconstrued and re-worded to make it appear I was guilty, and he wanted me to sign it!
At the time I was talking to the detective I sort of believed that if you were innocent you should just open up, tell them everything, they would investigate it and figure out I had nothing to do with a stupid car radio theft. I was wrong and they were out to get me. After all, I was with friends at the time, they could verify that, please call them, etc.
When it became obvious the detective wasn't going to do his job I let him have it, I said "I'm going to have your badge!" Then I really opened up and really told the truth. I told him that at the time of the theft I was getting a blow job and I had four witnesses, who would all get on the stand an verify that fact. Truth was, me and the young lady went into a third floor bedroom to do the act. I couldn't have left without repelling out of the window to go steal the radio... and I could have done that, but didn't.
I was having fun at this point, imagining the chick at court testifying about the blow-job, and she would have, with giggles.
It's all fun and games with an idiot cop until they take you to the Lee County jail over in Opelika with a $5,000 bail. That was a nightmare.
It's a crime I didn't commit, I had nothing to with it, I still don't know who did.
It never went to court. It turns out the guy that ID'd me was an idiot, maybe I should say "mentally challenged". He wasn't a college student he was a burger flipper at the "Sani-Flush", anyone who was a student at AU in the '70-'80s knows the joint.
It never even went to court but, guess what? It's still on my record. I guess I could get it taken off of my record but I'm not sure how. It would probably involve lawyers and money, for a crime I didn't commit. It has caused me employment problems in the past, I end up telling this stupid story...

This is the first of my Stupid Cop stories.

El Bubba